A breakfast memoir


Breakfast is my favorite meal. It’s very versatile, the possibilities are endless (yes, cold pizza from the night before is included in this spectrum) and it’s just good. If I were an edible menu item, I think I could be painted as an endless breakfast buffet table. Not those gnarly stainless steel tubs oozing with piles of teriyaki farm animals attacking each other.
But like, nice three-tiered platters resting on a lace table cloth with an exotic fresh fruit section (I swear I used to be a normal lady, not a carb-whore) picturesque cupcakes, whole grain toasted raisin breads, some lox and tuna, banana nut muffins, you know…the works. Like a bar mitzvah brunch on steroids. God bless those middle school days where it was totally acceptable to stack up your plate (twice) with assorted fattening goods (Jews and free food, it’s rough.)
Anyways, this morning I woke up and decided to be adventurous. Actually, that’s a lie. Last night, I went to sleep dreaming of this mornings adventures. Some people dream of fairytales and beaching it in Hawaii, meanwhile I was scouting out the best coffee in the city to start the day off appropriately. This morning, after considerable Yelp research, I decided on Stumptown at the Ace Hotel. But on my way to the subway, I walked a different route and met my soulmate. Relax. My future lies in a bowl of oatmeal as of now–not the tall, dark and handsome creature that may or may not have been run over by a car since he is yet to make an appearance.
So I rearranged this mornings plan because I have an odd obsession with oatmeal. Few would understand, save for like Danielle and Janelle. But when it comes to oats, I don’t mess around. I’ve finagled with oatmeal pancakes, and dumped all things chia seeds, fruit, peanut butter, nutmeg, cinnamon, roasted nuts, toasted coconut and your typical dried fruit selection. So when I walked into OatMeals and saw a world of sweet and savory items, I totally panicked. I thought I was the master creator the day I made a pumpkin spice oatmeal and then…this place put all creative badges and awards I merited to myself to shame. Let me blow your mind for a hot sec with a few sexy oatmeal bowls: s’mores, dulce de leche cheesecake,  croque Monsieur, fig and Gorgonzola, quatre fruits rouges and more. And then if your boring and lack imagination, definitely go for the banana with peanut butter, or the brown sugar cinnamon raisin. But seriously, shame on you.

I have this thing called menu anxiety. I was seriously torn but then I said…I’m always in for the sweets and I have an odd gravitation towards any menu item that includes truffle oil so I went for it. The truffle risOatto and never looked back. It was wild. Oats with fresh shaved parmesan,  sea salt, cracked pepper and truffle oil.

You can also DIY and create your own oatmeal.  Maybe I’ll do that on a day where I dont start off with an omelet…


Well…and then I made it to Stumptown this afternoon for a coffee with Laurah M. They did have soy milk of course (actually Le Colombe is supposed to be awesome and they don’t have soy…like who are you?) but this place had rice milk too, which is quite impressive! They also had the birthday cake truffles from Momofuku milk bar so I kinda had no choice. The lady put a gun to my head and said eat this or die. Well, close. She actually just said they just received them in today and they were delicious, but it’s kind of similar to the forceful weapon situation. And apparently, I had sinned last time I went to Milk because I didn’t go for the famed truffle (said Carly–a very knowledgeable and trustworthy human when it comes to the food department.) It was out of control. Not normal.

PS. I have a few more things to share in my beast mode days, but I will be returning to humanity quite soon. I used to be a quinoa devotee but Paris screwed up my sense of humanity and I haven’t been to reality since…January. That is not okay. Not on any level. So after I share my ice cream endeavors and Mexican feasts, I will be back to broccoli. I promise to make my greens as exciting as my large and in charge adventures.

Oatmeals, 120 West Third Street (you MUST try it. They can even put bacon in there…But like, and marshmallows.)

Stumptown,18 W 29th St (at the Ace Hotel. Eat the truffle. Or die.)


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