A Big Ass Bowl Of Oatmeal

feast-worthy, Uncategorized


Shit happens, and suddenly one day it’s 46 degrees and sunny out until Mother NatureĀ is all like naaa girl, you ain’t even know what’s coming. Then I wake up, it’s 18 degrees, and I can’t breathe because the heat in my building (which I cannot control) is on full blast and my mouth is so dry I feel like I ate an entire cotton field. Or a container of cinnamon, IDK.


A breakfast memoir


Breakfast is my favorite meal. It’s very versatile, the possibilities are endless (yes, cold pizza from the night before is included in this spectrum) and it’s just good. If I were an edible menu item, I think I could be painted as an endless breakfast buffet table. Not those gnarly stainless steel tubs oozing with piles of teriyaki farm animals attacking each other.